According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
