i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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