Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize