Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
