her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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