id be glad to
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
