How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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