I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
