just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
