You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize