3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
