just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
We had sex on a dog bed..
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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