how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
