Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Rumble strips road head = magical
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
