How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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