Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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