She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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