everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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