My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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