Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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