I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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