I want to stick my p in your. b.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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