You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
