She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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