If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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