areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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