Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
How drunk are you?
Completed.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
