bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
