your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
