That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize