I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize