i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize