I just pynch a tree in the face
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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