Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize