Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
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