try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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