Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
