just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
