You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
