I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
