Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
