garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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