Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
