he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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