grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
