So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
