your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Will exercising make me less horny?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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