remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
