its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Randomize
