He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize