i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
