so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
