apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
