Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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