so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
