I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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