she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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