Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize